The Frustration Of Being Aesthetically Pleasing

I’m not a perfectionist. In fact, sometimes, I’m quite lazy. It’s a work in progress; as I am striving to grow up out of my initial artist’s habits of total spontaneity. It’s that free spiritedness that all creative people have that is sometimes my best friend and my worst enemy.

What am I talking about? Well, it must be obvious to the few of my dedicated readers, who, by God’s blessing, have stuck around, and are still with me, despite my seemingly neglectful treatment of you. It’s not an issue of my wanting to neglect my writing. I love the fact that ANYONE is paying attention to my content, and the ramblings of my mind, which, until I entered the blogosphere; I undervalued.

My issue is that the creative side of me has been very frustrated with the functionality of my site. I’m pretty sure I brought this up previously, since the debacle of the move from Host Gator to my current hosting company, Hostnameclub.com.

Host Gator’s techs were unable to give me succinct advice concerning my site because it is a multisite, and they were ill-equipped and unable to handle it. One would think that with the surging popularity of multisites, they would get on the ball, but that was not the case, and they advised me improperly, causing the loss of content to one of my sites.

Since I have been trying to recover from this situation, I’ve been battling with numerous issues of plugin or scripting conflicts; and it has drawn much of my time trying to address it. Currently, I tinkered with ad placements and even an amazon store, but after much of this tinkering, I decided to simply start over.

You know, we cause much of our own anguish when we are faced with the prospect of having to start over from scratch, and rebuild something we have built up significantly.  Such anguish can be the catalyst for a lot of physical pain, when we kick against the pricks ( a scriptural reference that is very apropos). That was the problem. I just really did not want to have to rebuild a site that contains over 500 articles…actually, closer to 700, but I can see that it must be done.

I discussed the matter with two tech pros I know at my local library, who explained a few things to me, and gave me an understanding for some of the conflicts on my sites. They made some suggestions, which I tried for the last 2-3 weeks, with no success. So, I’ve decided that I’m going to start from scratch and rebuild.

I’m sure my following has noticed the name change on the main site heading, and that will be the name of the new site.  My focus and mission have changed. Previously, I was trying to brand myself, but now, I want to just brand the site, because to me, the content and purpose is far more important than having my name on the site.

This is going to take some time, but one day, you’ll pop over here and notice that it looks different…throughout. I am actually building it separately, so that I can still continue to write and keep supplying you with something interesting to read. I’m hoping the transition will be seamless, and I will be able to clone my content, and just shift it over to the new site. But even if I have to manually transport the content, I will get it done, because I want easier navigation, and an eye-pleasing layout to compliment the content.

And I’m sure some of you are wondering where the almost 700 articles are. I unpublished the majority of them because as I said, my purpose is now defined, and my mission is different. I need to review this content to make sure it is all relevant. Things I wrote when I first started blogging out of boredom, are not going to entertain or engage my current audience, so things like that must go.

It makes me think of gardening. I’m basically pruning my overgrown plant here. Sometimes you have to cut things back, or even start from the basics of almost a stump to get the plant to regrow in the correct manner.  You know, in all honesty, I don’t think starting over is such a bad thing. The conflict of it lies in the thought of starting over, and not in the actual process.

You see, once you battle it out in the recesses of your mind; when you overcome the agony your mind perceives of having to do all that work over again; or even of all the time you’ve already invested trying to fix an unfixable problem, you are at ease. We cause ourselves much “dis-ease” by resisting that which is the most natural conclusion.

If we have to repeat a process, redo, retrain, relearn, or rebuild something, we become resistant because we act like we have learned all that information already, and why should we have to go through it again. It’s almost as if we have the end-all of knowledge on the subject; although in my case, it was not that. It was just the prospect of time issues, which is always on my list of complaints.

No one likes to feel like they’ve wasted their time. In reality, if you have to start over, or redo something you have already invested a lot of time in; it’s much easier to give in to the idea of redoing it; than it is to resist the idea, and continue to try to fix something that  requires a full overhaul. You waste more time, trying to cheat, and go the cheaper or less time consuming route, than if you simply started on the new model, while keeping the old one in service until you can complete the new, and have it ready to launch.

It’s really a severe learning curve to get past your own innate propensity to resist, but it contradicts everything that is natural to your most creative flow, and certainly, causes unnecessary unrest, irritation, frustration and eventually, pain. I remember something I read briefly on the back cover of a book called The Tao of Pooh.

I’m not into the Taoist philosophy, but the book caught my attention because it was about A.A. Milne‘s beloved character, Winnie the Pooh; who I myself love. The only thing I understood from the back cover about the basics of Taoist theory, is that they go with the flow. There was something about always going the flow of the river, and letting it carry you where it chose.

I don’t necessarily agree in full with that concept, simply because I don’t believe that life just happens to us. We are turned and directed by the winds of our own decisions and thoughts. This is why I am striving to eliminate some of my free-spirited ways, because I need more structure and order to my life. I don’t want to be a victim of circumstance, so I believe that by utilizing the 3 lbs inside our heads, we can navigate on the river, as opposed to being swept away by it.

My battle with the site is tantamount to having gone over a waterfall, and survived; only to have been attempting to paddle back up it, and back the way I came. That’s ludicrous. So I have given in. I only want to let my readers know that they have been not forgotten in the midst of all my angst and my battle with the site.

My middle name is not consistency, but I am committed to getting more organized; and in spite of my struggle against my natural proclivities, I will get there. I’m taking it one day at a time.


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