The Labyrinth Of Relationships: The Key To Balance

In 2009, I was just beginning my journey of discovery concerning the differences in personality types. I first wrote about it here. Speaker, coach and motivator, Dani Johnson, referred to 4 types, which she identified as Gems. She had a video about a seminar she had done, in which she identified these 4 types. She had the entire seminar separated into these Gem groups.

At one point in the seminar, the song, “Everybody Dance Now,” just started blasting from the sound system. At once almost everyone in one particular group, jumped up and began to dance and gyrate to the song as if on cue, but none was given. It was funny, but insane at the same time, but it so aptly demonstrated the “life of the party,” mindset of that particular personality type.

Since getting that understanding, I began looking for mentors. Considering certain resource limitations, I was elated to come to the realization that there were plenty of available mentors to be had. All I had to do was read a book.

imagePreviously,  I started a series on this Labyrinth of Relationships topic, but due to the convergence of all of my sites into one multisite,  some content got lost. I learned a lot during my summer of frustration, and certain would urge anyone considering such convergences to ensure that you have a host whose tech savvy enough to properly handle a multisite. Thank God I made copies of my content. Thus, I’ve decided to revive this topic because it seemed to be a good one, and I was enjoying the various aspects available to explore.

In view of the purpose of my site, and being pain focused, I believe that the nature of relationships is crucial to analyzing issues of pain due to the emotional triggers. The muscles store such information in the form of tension, and a buildup that can cause a muscular lockdown that could seriously impede freedom of movement. My hope is to mentor you through, so that through awareness, this series may help you to navigate some aspect of your relationships with those in your circle and world.

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Now, I had started reading Mentored By A Millionaire, by Steven K. Scott but at the time, I could not complete it. There were a lot of questions he asked in the book that I could not answer then. However, now that book is back on my book list, because I’ve gained a lot of new information and insights since that time, and I feel better equip to begin addressing the questions and exercises he gave in the book.

One of the things his book had was 5 minute personality test. It described the 4 personality types as Lions, Otters, Golden Retrievers, and Beavers. He identified the natural strengths, weaknesses, basic disposition, time management, communication styles, decision making, how they handle pressure or tense situations, greatest needs, and what each type desires. He also identified a few areas of needed improvement for each type.

Since taking this test, and understanding my own personality a lot more, I understand why I view certain things the way I do. One of the exercises was not only to ascertain your own personality, but the personality of others around you; family members, friends, coworkers, bosses, and any other person that you tend to interact with.

My son and I easily figured out the types of many of the people we knew, laughing as we isolated their dominant and sub-dominant types. Knowing this information did help me to some extent. I tried, according to my own personality types, to be more patient with people in opposing type combinations. But, I still struggle with people who have a similar dominant, like mine.

It can also be difficult, because when you come across someone who is extremely unbending in their personality, but communicates like they are being a positive and benign leader;  that person can be very hard to deal with, especially if they are not walking the walk. It’s difficult because after giving that person many opportunities to prove your initial or even general impressions wrong, and they don’t; you just want to disconnect, especially if that person’s word…their trustworthiness has come into question.

However, if the key is found in knowing yourself, then the issue of trustworthiness would not be focused on some potentially, unreliable associate. The first issue would have to be, “How well do you know yourself?” The second issue would be, “How much do you trust yourself?” The trustworthy issue is not in your associates, but in you because of your expectations.

So the meat and potatoes of the issue is, “Do you trust yourself enough to be able to graciously handle the disappointment of an unexpected outcome?” The keys are in you.

  • Analyze and know yourself.
  • Recognize the personality types around you, so you know who you are dealing with.
  • Utilize the skill of  predictability to forecast the outcome.
  • Temper your expectations and stop projecting your desires on others.
  • Trust yourself to gracefully handle disappointments.


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